Bloody Bastards: Ragdoll Carnage Meets Dark Medieval Comedy
Features of Bloody Bastards:
⚔️ Slash & Crunch Physics: Control floppy-limbed warriors in tavern brawls and castle sieges where every strike bends reality. Swipe dynamically to trigger over-the-top kills, shield bashes, and accidental faceplants powered by 2D ragdoll chaos.
🛡️ Fashion of Destruction: Equip Viking horned helmets, chainmail lettuce leaves, or a fish sword. Mix 250+ gear pieces across British Isles, Holy Roman Empire, and Tsarist Rus regions for stats and slapstick flair.
🧟 Undead Customization: Toggle zombie skins mid-battle to turn foes into rotting slapstick puppets. Add snowstorms or drunken camera wobble in Settings for extra chaos.
🔥 Multiplayer Tavern Duels: Challenge friends in PvP bar fights where spilled mead slicks floors, and benches become weapons.
Why Bloody Bastards Stands Out
No pay-to-win loot boxes
Regular seasonal events (Haunted Harvest, Frostbite Fiesta)
Twitch integration with live viewer weapon votes
Hidden goat-powered catapults in Nordic levels
Rough Edges of Bloody Bastards:
- Shield parry timing feels inconsistent early on
- No cross-platform PvP yet
- Some armor stat descriptions lack clarity
Behind the Brutality
Developed by Tibith Studio, creators of Brawl Legends (2018), this Copenhagen team merged Monty Python humor with Toribash-inspired combat systems. The ragdoll tech took 14 months to perfect—watch knights trip on their own entrails!
Kill-or-Be-Killed Competition
Medieval Melee Masters: Deeper RPG elements but sluggish combat
Ragdoll Royale: Better physics but lacks character customization
Pirate Punch-Out: Family-friendly style, no gore options
Hooked Players Say
“Finally, a fighter where stabbing someone with a baguette feels epic.”
4.7/5 (890K ratings), #3 in Comedy Action on Play Store (Q2 2023)
Latest Bloodshed
v1.6.7.9 added:
- Drunken monk enemy class
- Easter egg: Pet the attack goose in level 7
- Improved leg dismemberment ragdoll reactions
Grab your flail and join the clownish slaughter—where every battle ends with someone hilariously stuck in a well.
